your face

I love your face.



just sayin'.

Time Out

I took a time out today.  I didn't even ask.  I just walked away.  And you let me.
I should have taken a nap (I needed one), but I didn't.  I was dumb and took the computer and watched Bones.  But even though it was dumb you still let me and didn't even come question me when you saw I had taken the computer.
Thanks, John.
Thanks for giving me time and space whenever I need it.  For letting me use time or waste it.  For loving me and not criticizing me.
I love you.

5!

#5  What is your favorite quality in your spouse?

You don't stop.  You're determined and keep going.  You don't allow other peoples' attitude's, perspectives or criticisms sway you.  You are steadfast.  Sometimes I get discouraged, but then I look at you and see how firm you are and think "we'll be just fine".
Thanks:)

Senses

#4  Describe something you love about your spouse using each of the senses.

Sight:  I love seeing you with the kids.  Wrestling on the floor (and couch...and, well, it doesn't really stay in one place).  Walking along holding a little hand.  Coming in from the store, kids running in front of you to bring me the flowers you brought me.

Sound:  Growling.  I love it when you're happy and playing with the kids...and we know that as to involve growling:)  Or the other day when you read Go, Dog, Go to Drake and throughout it all you'd ask him to point out this or that as it was described...loved it!  My heart just melted:)

Taste:  Your food.  Peach chicken with white sauce on pasta.  Teriyaki chicken on rice.  And scrambled eggs with toast-because that's what you make when you make me breakfast in bed.

Smell:  You.  Your sweat?  Your pheromones?  Whatever it is, I like it.  When I hug you I smell it.  When I fold your garments I smell it.  When I scooch up to you in bed.

Touch:  Kisses on my cheek.  I remember during the paper route when you'd get home (or when you left...or both?)...but you'd give me a kiss on the cheek.  Those kisses are perfect and lovely and so full of love and happiness that I can feel it spilling over into me.

Number 3 of 30

#3  Your favorite body part of your spouse's and why.

I think you've heard my say it before-your backside.
Yes.  I never understood why it was an attractive feature on anyone, until you.  It's like the perfect shape and so muscular and tight.
I get it now, I really do.
Maybe that's why I always want you to get tighter pants...

You took me HERE

That is where we went today.

Thank you.


Seriously.

Thank you!

THANK YOU!

I can't describe how wonderful it was and how grateful I am and how thrilled I was to get to go with you.  Thank you so much, John.

30 Things...

So...I was giving that list of 30 things a closer look and most of them you can't really transfer over, so I'm making up some of my own!



#2: 5 Things I've Learned From You


1. There is a happy place in between uptight perfection and giving up.  As MacDonnell would say "the perfect is the enemy of the good".  Whether it's in keeping the closet clean or making dinner or decorating, just because it's not perfect doesn't mean I scrap the whole thing.  Even more beautiful is the emotional application of this.

2. You Hold On.  You keep moving.  I guess it goes back to my idea of perfection.  Life won't always be just the way I think it should be-I still need to hang on!  After your mom's death.  Through my depression.  Through all the Virginia licensure frustrations and now our move and certainty of what comes next.  You inspire me.  First it was just getting through, but recently you started telling me how you decided you were going to be happy.  'Come what may and love it' comes to mind.

3. Light and strength can be found in non-traditional places.  I think of Metallica...and KT Tunstall-and now Fight as One (Avenger's intro by Bad City).

4. How to cook rice (and to love it brown)!

5. Love is never wasted.  I'm impressed by your continual love and concern for your sister.  I would say that you forgive her genuinely...but I'm not sure would even think she needed to be forgive by you.  I'm still learning and am grateful for your kind example.


Thank you!

Sugary Sweet

Thank you so much for taking the kids Christmas shopping!  I wish I could have gone with you, but then it wouldn't be special father-daughter/father-son time.  Perhaps someday we can watch re-runs of our lives and I can see all the sweet moments you guys have.  You're a wonderful father.  I love you, John.  I'm glad I have you.  No one else would be better.

20 (or 30) Things

So I was looking at this blog post "30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me".  I thought it would be fun to do...for you!  It's always fun to see yourself from another person's perspective, so I thought I'd try it.  I surely won't get all 30 done any time soon (each one of the 30 is supposed to be it's own blog post), but that's not really the point.  So, my dear, here we go!

#1. List 20 random facts about yourself (ahem...your fantabulous husband).

1. You have white and grey hairs in your beard.
2. Your own comfort seems to matter very little to you.
3. You growl at the kids...I never would have though to do that (you know, unless I was being a specific growly animal), but the kids LOVE it.
4. You have a nice backside.  I try not to be jealous.
5. You get passive-agressive when you're trying to get me to stop being passive-agressive.
6. You want all your hair to fall out.
7. Dress pants don't survive long in your closet.
8. Despite your issues with cold and snow you will wear flip flops in January.
9. Our kids adore you.  Like, over-the-top, enthralled, completely love you.  And that only makes me love you all even more.
10. You're more set in tradition than you say (or perhaps like to think?).
11. Right now I think you only have 2 or 3 pairs of shoes.
12. You love sports but not in the cheer and go crazy-fan kind of a way.
13. You like to be prepared.  You even have "high priest" scriptures, you know, just for when your vision goes.
14. You use hyperbole a lot...especially when talking about my age.
15. You are very loyal but not very vocal.
16. You don't forget people (in a caring, not memorizing sort of way).
17. You really didn't like the Hobbit movie.
18. Despite your fear of snow, you'd rather walk in snow than drive in it.
19. Favorite movie=Wizard of Oz
20. Your favorite Avenger is Thor.  (What do you think does Thor speak in all bold letters?)

Late Nights

Last night Gideon decided to be awake...a lot.  I don't know what time he first woke up (when I asked you responded with "You don't want to know").  He rotated between half awake whining, awake crying and wide awake happiness.  You took him twice.  TWICE.  Once upstairs and once to the family room.  

Funny thing about the second time around:  My mind kept racing and rolling over somewhat stressful topics.  I prayed to the Lord that my mind would be able to rest so the rest of me could as well.  Then I heard from the family room you singing the Carl song.  And it worked!  It was unexpected and wonderful.

Gideon didn't really go to sleep until after 4am.  But I wasn't a crazy monster this morning because you were my knight in the midnight.

A Most Loving Day

I have to say thanks.

Last night you got up in the middle of the night and took Gideon.  It was about 1am.

Full disclosure-you said you were up because you really wanted to..um...roll around in the bed a bit.

So, really, this scenario has a couple good husband bits.

1) you want me.

Now, I know this isn't news, but it's still pretty awesome.  It may not seem like it much, but I really am grateful for that.  It's nice to know that you still love me in and in more ways than one.  And I love you more for it.

2) you took Gideon in the middle of the night.

That was freaking awesome.  I have to admit, sometimes I get jealous of you being able to sleep without him.  I shouldn't, I know.  That's only one piece of everything that we both do to make everything work (and we both know you do waaaay more laundry than I do).  But to have that time (I don't even know how much it was) was wonderful.  Thank you.

3) you took Gideon and didn't take me.

Now this one is kinda backwards.  While sometimes it's romantic to go the other way around (the passion we talked about) sometimes-like when I'm so wasted I can't get my mouth to move-it doesn't work so well.  The fact that you served me and enabled me to sleep more when what you really wanted was for us to sleep a little less that night was an incredible expression of selfless love.  

I am so blessed to have you as my husband.  As I write this I am humbled and feel truly undeserving of your care.

I love you, John.

Being a Dad

You are such an awesome dad.  But my heart melts just a little more during 

'dad' moments.

Like teaching the kids how to ride a bike.

Thanks for being such a great dad:)

Back-up

Today we handled 6 kids at the ward party.  It was crazy, but you were my superman.
thanks for gettin' my back!  I love you:)

Manuel!

Today we had the most fabulously hilarious Wall-E moment.

We got the new car, right?  

Well, when we put groceries in the back you went to push the close button, expecting it where it was on the Honda...but it wasn't there.  Realizing you didn't have a button to close it you said "but how are we supposed to close it?!".

It was hysterical!  

Manuel, relay instructions.

I love you, John-thanks for making life fun!!

What you did today

Last night I was reading in bed (with Gideon on top of me, of course) and Drake started crying...and you got him...even though I was already awake.  You're really sweet like that.
Then you let me sleep in...'til about 8:20am.
Then you drove me up to Omaha, again, and bought me a car.
Yup.  You bought me a car.
Thanks:)

I love you.

Thanks for loving me:)

Today you loved me

So...you're totally darling:)
Today you got me 'South American cocoa bean product' for my 'habit'.
You also got me an oreo mcflurry.
You drove me around.
You took Gideon at 6:30am...after you were awake in the middle of the night.
You took a short nap with me...that ended with some...active cuddling (how's that?).
The, er, 'active cuddling' ended with a fair deal of laughing:)
You bought me cookie dough and pizza.

But really...
You remembered something simple about me...which let me know that I am important enough to you to remember the little things.
You were willing to give me something sweet as a pick-me-up.
You gave me some time and space to relax and clear my head.
You care enough about me to place my needs above yours.
You still love me in that sweet way that says 'just being around you makes me happy'.
You care enough to show me that 'we've still got it':)
You're willing to trade hard-earned money for my convenience.

Thanks, John.
I love you.

my boys

you are the leader of our most awesome army.
thanks, hun:)

Just in case you wanted to know

I so freaking love you:)

Us, We, Our

You know what I love?
I love that my life isn't 'my' life, it's our life.
No more my, but our.
No me, but us.
No I, but we.
I just like the way it sounds.
I love what it means.
You and I, we're in it together.  Forever.  No matter what.

People might think that depending on another person for eternity would place you in a position of vulnerability and therefore weakness.
We are vulnerable to each other but we're not weaker because of it-we're stronger.
It it because we open up to each other that we see where to protect.  Our individual weak points are guarded and together we become stronger.  We can fight and defend our charges and together not only guard our weak points but reinforce them, correct them.

In that same way, not only are our strengths multiplied, but our joys as well.
Being married, being sealed, is awesome.
Being sealed to you...it's even better.

Crazy Kids

So, this one is a little different.
I just want to say how awesome our kids are.
Seriously, they're freaking awesome.
And we wouldn't have them-I wouldn't have them without you.
I see you in them.  Your words, your looks, your humor, the way you sleep.  I look at my kids and am in awe and twitterpated and can't imagine them being any more crazy-amazing than they are now.  And they are that way because you are their dad.  Things they pulled from your DNA and things they pulled from day-to-day.  You have brought so much joy and silliness to my life.  Thanks.

I'm Sorry

Today I was short with you.
I'm sorry.

Today I had in my head us trying to do better as a family.  In particular scripture study.  But I think what I view the end goal being is different than your vision.  And when my picture didn't come into focus I took it out on you.

I'm sorry I made faces and avoided eye contact and probably made you feel bad.  I'm sorry I was rude and sharp.  I'm sorry I didn't treat you with the love I have for you.

I promise-that is not a part of my vision.

I also want you to know that I really did like your FHE lesson-about Gideon and picking a scripture and image to go with each kid.  It's really quite beautiful and inspiring.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you that when I thought it.

I promise that I'll do better tomorrow.
Thanks for all the tomorrows.

Blessing the Family

Last night you came home from the priesthood session of general conference.  You were clean shaven, had on a white shirt and tie.  I was so proud of you.  In the previous week you helped give myself and some of our kids priesthood blessings.
I want you to know that I am hugely grateful that you are worthy to hold the priesthood and that I can call on you at any time to give a blessing.  That means a lot.  I means security for me.  I know that I have access to the priesthood whenever I need it.  It means pride.  My husband is worthy in the eyes of God.
I am proud of you.  I am proud to be your wife.  I am grateful that God has blessed me with someone who worthily holds the priesthood.
I love you, John.

Chin up, I love you

So, today you kinda bumped another car with the van. 
So...maybe bump in an understatement.
But really, it's not that bad.

No, really.

I know you're feeling bad right now.
About the car.
About the whole job search.
About the potential for moving into my parent's house.

I see that.  And I get it.
Trust me, I can log plenty of mom/wife guilt.

But I don't need to. 

You don't need to burden yourself with your dad/husband guilt.
It doesn't help you at all.

and don't start feeling guilty that you're feeling guilty.

You know what's really wonderful?
I think we're focused on the right things.

What do we worry about (other than the job search)?

All the stuff we worry about seems to come back to our eternal family.  Thank you for being the kind of husband and father that isn't so distracted that he forgets the important things.

And, in the end, where you're driving is not an important thing. 

Family scripture time.
Family fun.
Family prayer.

Family.

Thanks for being a family focused guy.
Thanks for being a true husband and father.

Thanks for being You.


I love you.

Compassion

Today I posted in the other blog about how Analee is learning compassion and I wanted you to know, I think she is learning that from you.  In fact, I think the ability for a 5 year old to be compassionate is pretty impressive-and I think she gets it from you.
Thinking about other people doesn't exactly come naturally to me.  But you have a wonderful capacity to look at a person and see what is inside their heads and behind their actions.  (One of the super-cool qualities that I think will make you a great teacher to teens and pre-teens). 
I want you to know that I am proud of Analee.  And I'm proud of her for being like you.
I know you worry, so let me say it again.
You are a good dad.  You have not only given our daughter your talent for loving people but are teaching her how to use it.
I'd go on but a short guy just started crying.

I love you, John.
Thanks for being you.

Hooray!

Today you are officially licensed to teach in Virginia!
It's taken a while to get here-but what can you say?  I guess we like the scenic route:)
I am so proud of you!
And I am so happy to see you so happy:)
And guess what?

YOU ARE AWESOME!!!



You seriously are!

NO, stop-you're awesome!  Seriously!

Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll end this post and go jump you;)

So in love

Sorry, hun.  I haven't done such a great job at this happy marriage-themed blog.  I haven't done cutesy dates and darling printables (do you even know what I mean by that?  do you care?).
So, perhaps I shouldn't worry about all that.
Perhaps I should just say I love you.
Because I do.

Merely thinking about life without you and I can't breathe.
A smile from you and every particle in me brightens just a little.  And during those occasional laugh fests I feel like I'm glowing.  Thanks to you.
When you hug me I relax.  I can just let go of everything for a moment, take a deep breath and let go of all the stress and worry and just be.

I am so in love with you, John.
I love you.

To Start It Off

Hi!  I'm Anika.  I'm starting this blog to help me out with a goal I have.  You see, I need to show my sweet husband, John, how much I love him.
I like to think that I don't do too bad a job, but there have been some distractions.  Four distractions, actually.  Meet Babe, Bub, Duck and, well the youngest doesn't have a nickname yet.  My grandpa suggested Giddy-up, my husband is test driving G and before he was born Babe wanted to name him Oval Superhero.  I'll guess we'll see what sticks.
While kids can keep you distracted from your marriage at any point, we've got a highly concentrated dose right now.  John and I have been married about 5 1/2 years and I've been pregnant 3 of them.  I can't say for other ladies, but I can get pretty hormonal, tired and achy when I'm pregnant.  Plus, there's the new baby phase (which were in right now).  Not really a recipe for romance.
That's what I'm out to change.
No-I'm not farming out the kids.
I want to up the ante on our dating life and I'm going to use this blog to document and motivate.
What'cha think?  Ready for some good old wholesome fun?